Thanks to my Facebook pal Murray Levine for this one! 😂
At the Saturday morning service the rabbi announces that he is planning to leave for a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is so popular.
Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota, stands up and proclaims: ” If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!” The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says: ” If the rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!” More sighs and loud applause.
Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile: ” If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex.” There is total silence.
The rabbi, blushing, asks her: “Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?” Estelle’s 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies: “Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said: ‘Screw him!!!'”