Laughter: The Universal Language – #148

I know you’ll enjoy today’s little gems! 😃

rural church
Photo (cc) by Kasper Flörchinger

Signs on Church Property

  • “No God: No Peace. Know God: Know Peace.”
  • “Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside”
  • “Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
  • “Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here”
  • An ad for St. Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
  • When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”
  • “Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons – come hear one.”
  • A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “The Resurrection is postponed.”
  • “People are like tea bags – you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
  • “God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
  • “Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush.”
  • “When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.”
  • “Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.”
  • “Fight truth decay – study the Bible daily.”
  • “Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives.”
  • “Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
  • “It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”
  • “Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
  • “If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
  • “Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
  • “This is a ch_ ch. What is missing? U R!”
  • “Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
  • “In the dark? Follow the Son.”

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