Laughter: The Universal Language – #88

Personal ads – pre-Internet, still funny!

Single Building
Photo – (cc) by A McLin

ACTUAL PERSONAL ADS FROM ISRAELI PAPERS

Worried about in-law meddling? 
I’m an orphan! Write. POB74.

Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman. POB 71.

Desperately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK. POB 64.

Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents’ house. POB 46.

Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. PB 658.

Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality. POB 78.

Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56.

Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it. POB 435.

Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah candles, havdalah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB 787.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555.

80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can’t I? POB 545.

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I’ll understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86.

Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53.

Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp. POB 76.

Jewish Princess, 28, seeks successful businessman of any major Jewish denomination: hundreds, fifties, twenties. POB 27.

I was reform as an embryo, conservative as a fetus, orthodox from birth. Seeking same. POB 46.

 

4 thoughts on “Laughter: The Universal Language – #88

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