Laughter: The Universal Language – #87

I can’t remember if I’ve posted these yet or not. Woe is me! But even if you’ve seen them before, they’re still grin-inducing!

STEEPLE 8.01.01 PM
Google street view December 2015

They’re Back! Those wonderful church bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

————————–

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

————————–

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

————————–

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water. ‘The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

————————–

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

————————–

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

————————–

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

————————–

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

————————–

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

————————–

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

————————–

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

————————–

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

————————–

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

————————-

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

————————–

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.

————————–

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

————————–

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

————————–

And this one just about sums them all up…

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday:

‘I Upped My Pledge – Up yours’

 

 

10 thoughts on “Laughter: The Universal Language – #87

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s