Ok, people. This has gone far enough! We have a lovely channel here called Animal Planet. Can you please tell me why it features such idiotic fare as:
- Swamp People – or something like that, close enough!
- Bigfoot – Really, Animal Planet???
- Gator Boys – guys with mullets rasslin’ alligators barehanded. Right.
- Treehouse Masters – should rightfully be on the Home & Garden channel.
- Insane Pools – ditto.
- Redwood Kings – they have a thing for wood, this channel. But where are the animals?!?
- Hillbilly Catfishin’ – Oh, there they are! Barehanded fishin’ – oh boy!
- Cold Water Cowboys – what the…?? Ohh, more fishin’. Ok then.
- North Woods Law – a lotta guns. Not a lotta animals.
- … etc. ad nauseam.
Now, to be sure, they do have a small sprinkling of honest-to-goodness shows about animals, but not every night, and not at all times. You have to really hunt for them. Oops, I said a bad word: hunt. Forgive me.
The Animal Planet channel presents a perfect opportunity to air interesting, educational or even, yes, entertaining shows, without pandering to the lowest of the low. I know there are great animal movies and documentaries out there, and I’m sure some decent half-hour shows can also be planned that aren’t brainless, nor too expensive to produce. Hey, they might even be cheaper than that Bigfoot show… they’d save on the night-vision goggles alone.