Some sounds are lovely: a kitty purring. A baby babbling. And a babbling brook, while we’re at it. But others? Not so much. Here are some I could live without.
- It’s the middle of the night. You hear something. At first it’s not clear; then it is. <BLOOP bloop. BLOOP bloop. BLOOP bloop. Bleaaach!> Know what it is? Of course you do. It is your cat, heaving… eventually causing an unspeakable mess on your best carpet. (Murphy’s Law: cat messes always go where you least want them to.)
- <click> That is the despicable sound your door makes when it closes behind you, locking you out. (Your cat is on the other side of the door, laughing.)
- It’s the middle of the night. Yeah, again. <shhssshhhssshhh> It’s the lovely sound of rain pattering on your window screen. Well, actually it would be lovely if you hadn’t left all the windows open. Again.
- It’s any morning. <Bing! ba-bing! bing! ba-bing!> It’s your danged alarm. You feel like flushing the device down the toilet. But you don’t, because then you would hear:
- <cloggggngggggnnngrindddggshhhh> It’s the infernal sound of a clogged toilet. Look, it’s hard to reproduce, okay? You try it if you’re so smart!
- It’s the midd- BLOOP bloop. BLOOP bloop. Oops, sorry, gotta run!