Crossed Eyes and Dotted Tees is proud to present…

Ta daaa!

alphabet fontYes! The alphabet! Shuffled around in new and exciting ways you have never seen before. Hopefully. No, see, that’s wrong. “Hopefully” should only be used as an adverb meaning “with hope” – but there has to be a VERB in the picture, kapeesh? (capeesh? kapish? oh, whatever!)  So the correct usage would be “I hope this plane lands at the right airport,” she said hopefully. Okay. Now that that is dispensed with, I can proceed to tell you what this blog is for. It is to showcase my occasionally brilliant writing and editing abilities. Yes. It is shamelessly self-promoting. Because if I don’t do it, who will? So, since I am now all tuckered out from writing this paragraph, and have no energy left to write a brand-new blog entry, I will now inflict foist upon introduce my lovely readers, i.e., you, to my rather strong feelings on literacy, which form the impetus (always wanted to use that word in a proper sentence) for the establishment of this site. It’s not too long, but you might want to fasten your seat belt.

An Online “Grammer” Rant

Is it just me, or am I going to “loose” my mind from the awful mistakes rampant on Internet highways and byways? Maybe you can give me some “advise” to help me deal with this. It would be a real “priviledge” for me to receive your assistance. It would “definately” help me. I think it might have a very good “affect” on my “piece” of mind. “Its” a good way for me to become more inteligable  intellagible better understood.

Okay, I won’t torture you further – that is, those of you who are privileged and can definitely write more intelligibly than the above paragraph.

I swear, while reading some posts or comments on the Net, my mind does want to, ah, cut loose and wander off somewhere… preferably to the Land of Perfect Spelling and Grammar.

Oh! And punctuation! What is it that scares some people about hyphens? A well-dressed person. A high-school reunion. It’s not rocket science, people! (I won’t mention the exceptional no-hyphen-after-the -ly -ending rule; it might confuuuuuse you. Do I amuuuuuse you?)

Please note: a semi-colon is not the same thing as a colon. It isn’t used to introduce a list; that’s what a colon is for, as in: pie, cake and donuts. Mmm…. donuts… er, where was I?

Now that I’m warmed up: what’s with the misplaced apostrophes? They are only used for possessives, not plurals. But plural possessives, yes. Are you loosing your mind yet?

I will close with the one that bugs me the most: ITS vs. IT’S. Once and for all:
ITS = possessive, as in THE DOG BIT ITS OWN TAIL.
IT’S = a contraction for IT IS, as in IT’S A CRAZY DOG.

And what are your pet peeves?


11 thoughts on “Crossed Eyes and Dotted Tees is proud to present…

  1. I agree for sure Ellie. Except for the semi-colon. It’s just an unnecessarily fancy period, if you ask me. The grammar mistakes bug me too, not as much as they used to though. My hide has thickened maybe, or I just expect them now. I was playing a game last night, and the dialogue was: “If she thinks she’s going to do that, she has another thing coming.” ARRGH!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rob – The semi-colon is sadly underappreciated, in my book. My book is as-yet unwritten mind you, so who cares, right? Some day I will write one though, and it will be called “The Lost Art of the Semi-Colon” by Not A. Period.

      Re “another thing coming” – ARGH as well, although we can see where the confusion comes from. When the phrase “another think coming” is spoken, the “k” gets swallowed. However, anyone with a brain (like you, me, and of course every single reader of this blog) knows that although the “k” is silent, it is still a “k.” (And yes, that period goes INside the quotation marks.) 🙂

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  2. Ah, but a colon can only follow an independent clause, and “as in” is most certainly dependent! And adverbs can modify adjectives as well as verbs! (They can also modify other adverbs–ex. very well–or whole clauses–Admittedly, I’ve gotten a little too into this!)

    Sorry. I’m a geek, and I love this stuff!

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  3. Picky, picky. The “as in” bit was on purpose. So there! BTW, u know of course that there’s a difference between “a well-dressed man” vs. “the man is well dressed.” (Is that why u brought up the adjective/adverb bit?) Listen, you’re talking to a sister geek here, ok? I love this stuff too!! Never be sorry! (Btw, in another post when I wrote to a commenter, “You mean ‘separate’? Sorry, sorry…” He was my son! rotfl!!)

    HEY you’ve gone and read all my posts!!!! Silly girl, now u have to wait ’til I dream up (or dredge up) something new/old. Maybe this eve! Time to get ready now to go to my (half-)day job!

    Thanx for reading all my stuff, Alyssa-not-Alyssa!! I will read the rest of yours too as soon as time allows! xox

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  4. Nothing wrong with this first post! I took an editing course a couple of months ago and I think I just learnt (or learned? Remember I’m an Aussie) more reading this post. I think I’ll be spending lunch on your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

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