Yes! The alphabet! Shuffled around in new and exciting ways you have never seen before. Hopefully. No, see, that’s wrong. “Hopefully” should only be used as an adverb meaning “with hope” – but there has to be a VERB in the picture, kapeesh? (capeesh? kapish? oh, whatever!) So the correct usage would be “I hope this plane lands at the right airport,” she said hopefully. Okay. Now that that is dispensed with, I can proceed to tell you what this blog is for. It is to showcase my occasionally brilliant writing and editing abilities. Yes. It is shamelessly self-promoting. Because if I don’t do it, who will? So, since I am now all tuckered out from writing this paragraph, and have no energy left to write a brand-new blog entry, I will now
inflict foist upon introduce my lovely readers, i.e., you, to my rather strong feelings on literacy, which form the impetus (always wanted to use that word in a proper sentence) for the establishment of this site. It’s not too long, but you might want to fasten your seat belt.
An Online “Grammer” Rant
Is it just me, or am I going to “loose” my mind from the awful mistakes rampant on Internet highways and byways? Maybe you can give me some “advise” to help me deal with this. It would be a real “priviledge” for me to receive your assistance. It would “definately” help me. I think it might have a very good “affect” on my “piece” of mind. “Its” a good way for me to become more inteligable intellagible better understood.
Okay, I won’t torture you further – that is, those of you who are privileged and can definitely write more intelligibly than the above paragraph.
I swear, while reading some posts or comments on the Net, my mind does want to, ah, cut loose and wander off somewhere… preferably to the Land of Perfect Spelling and Grammar.
Oh! And punctuation! What is it that scares some people about hyphens? A well-dressed person. A high-school reunion. It’s not rocket science, people! (I won’t mention the exceptional no-hyphen-after-the -ly -ending rule; it might confuuuuuse you. Do I amuuuuuse you?)
Please note: a semi-colon is not the same thing as a colon. It isn’t used to introduce a list; that’s what a colon is for, as in: pie, cake and donuts. Mmm…. donuts… er, where was I?
Now that I’m warmed up: what’s with the misplaced apostrophes? They are only used for possessives, not plurals. But plural possessives, yes. Are you loosing your mind yet?
I will close with the one that bugs me the most: ITS vs. IT’S. Once and for all:
ITS = possessive, as in THE DOG BIT ITS OWN TAIL.
IT’S = a contraction for IT IS, as in IT’S A CRAZY DOG.
And what are your pet peeves?